Jealous
by Aburame Megumi
Summary: If you hate Sakura, you will luff this. It has everything you can loveGreen tea soup aliens, spontaneous implosions, youthfulness, humour and love! NaruHina, NejiTen, SasuSaku, KibaMegu
1. The First to Hate The Haruno

Tenten was jealous. Why? Becuase that Sakura girl was trying for Neji's attention. HER neji's attention. That pretty girl-she thought she had everythign. But she didn't. In fact, Neji hardly noticed her. At least, yet. Tenten didn't want to wait to see anythign happen...

Hinata was jealous. Why? Could the Hyuuga heiress get jealous? Why of course! ANd over whom but the lovely Haruno? She had Naruto's love, even though she didn't want it. To throw away Naruto';s love! THe thought mearly was a sin to Hinata. What she woudl stab herself with a kunai for, another threw in the trash?! it was disgusting-deplorable! Oh what she would do for naruto's heart...

Teh two bumped into each other in a tree. Of all places. Of course, they were stalking Sakura, who was searching for Neji and runnign away from Naruto.

"GRRRRR...BAKA NO HARUNO!"" The growled, then noticed the other's presence. 

"Hinata?!!"

"TEnTEN?!?!"

"What are you doing here?!?!

"W-watching Sa-sakura."

"?!?!?!?!"

Hianta blushed. "Sh-she...she has Naruto's heart..."

"Oh," Tnetne sighed in understanding. "And she wants Neji's heart."

"!!! H-honot ni? I thought--"

"You know Sasuke's not coming back,"

"..." Hinata sighed. She never cared, but she knew Sasuke meant a lot to Naruto, so she sympathised for his case.

"Anyways, Neji's her next victim.'

Hinata giggled. "Y-you know, N-neji nii san'll never like her-"

Tenten threw glares of kunai. "I'm not taking that chance,"

Hinata straightened up. "O-oh. I see."

Tentne stroked an imaginary beard. "We must-eliminate this...haruno..."

"h-hai!" 

"...you'll help me?"

"hai!"

"That's better!" The two high fived, and so the war began...


	2. The Mysterious Absense of Akamaru

Kiba and Megumi searched high and low, but Akamaru and Megumi's secret pet Green Tea Alien were no where to be found!

"AKAMARU!!!" Kiba yelled from the ground, scaring some birds.

megumi slouched by a tree trunk. "Poor Green Tea Alien..." she hugged her body, eyes falling to the ground.

But Kiba still could ruin the moment! "Doesn't...he have a name?" CRICKET

Megumi looked up blankly, snapping from her moment of dramatic self sympathy. "n-no---I guess not. I just found him ye-yesterday..."

"Oh," Kiba's narrow eyes went back over the horizon. Since when had Akamaru run off? Sure, people had kidnapped him b/c they said his bark was freakin annoying. Which it was. But that didn't really matter.

"Ki-kiba-kun..." Megumi looked up sadly. "D-do you think-" she sniffled again, "We'll ---find them?"

He smiled, pulling Megumi close to him. "Of course! It just might---take a while!" Kiba grinned his signature canine grin.

Which made Megumi smile. And blush. That is, until they saw an explosion on the horizon.

"?!?!?!?!"

"Oh, gomen!" they heard someone belt out from miles away. "Deidara no baka! You ruined everythign! Now two nins nknow of our secret hideout!" It was Itachi.

Megumi and Kiba listened blnakly. "TOBIS A GOOD BOY!!!" A voice muffled from behind a mask was heard. 

"G-gomen, un! You know those Green Tea aliens, un! They just--make things sporatically implode!" Deidara waas heard saying.

"GREEN TEA ALIEN!" Megumi jumped up in cute youth, racing off towards the new secret Akatsuki hideout. Of coures, her purple nail polish would serve to get her in...

Kiba's eyse widened as he chased after her. "COME BACK MEGUMI!!!"

Now, as to Akamaru, there's a very simple explaination, which Kiba and Megumi soon figured out after Kiba beat up Deidara (Reku chan and Mizz: DIE DOG BOY!!! shank) and Tobi somehow getting beat up too (by meugmi' whipping out a scroll...). Sakura had a craving for Chicken wings, and seeing Neji, so she kidnapped the yapping dog.

"HARUNO SHALL DIE!" Kiba proclaimed once he figured out, charging towards the Haruno residence. But instead, he ran into Rock Lee, Tenten, and Hinata. "?" 

"Sakura has broken my youthful heart!" Lee dramatically said.

"She's tryihg to steal Neji."

"Sh-she is l-loved by N-naruto..." Blush and hide.

Blink. "?" Then Kiba grinned understandingly. "SO you all wanna kill Sakura more or less?" They nodded.

Megumi, who was behind him, called forth, "I will join you too!"

Everyone turned. "?" 

"Ignoring that I think she's a pansy and she's mean to Yuun chan, that was really mean of ehr to take Akamaru! Even if there were chicken wings..." The green tea soup alien agreed. 

"Wait...what?" Kiba was just pondering about the chicken wings.

"So..." Megumi said deviously. "What do we do?"

"FUFUFU..."


	3. Sakura and Her Obsession of Chicken Wing

Fujiwara's was crowded. It was a friday night, after all. Megumi, Kiba, Rock Lee, Tenten and Hinata all snuck in all sneaky-ninja like. Through the floods of people, no one noticed that Hinata and Tenten were skipping their shifts .v

Across the smoke by the bar, there was a discernable Akatsuki coat. Kiba eyed it in suspicion. "I thought they were dead..." he mused. But apparently not! 

Megumi noticed Kiba's gaze towards the bar, but totally mistranslated it. "KIBA! I DIDN"T KNOW YOU DRANK!" she gasped angrily.

"Did someone say SAKE?" Lee beamed at the reference to alcohol.

"NO SAKE FOR YOU!" Tenten banged his head down.

"No, its just-" he pointed discreetly to the coat. The apparent Akatsuki member had a curious dish of chicken wings atop a bowl of ramen.

"ITS HER!" Hinata cried out totally out of character. Every head turned as the black and red clad nin jumped out into the darkness. 

The five-some stared at the swinging door blankly. A gong resounded in the background. "WEll...that went well..."

As they walked out into the cool night, Tenten carryign a smoothie and Lee a small small pinch of sake that he convinced tenten to let him get, they noticed a black indicernable blob on a parkbench.

"EW ITS A HOBO!" Megumi squeaked, clutching to Kiba's arm. 

"...That's no hobo..." Kiba approached the shadowed figure. "THATS ITACHI!"

And low and behold, it was none other than ...ITACHI! His eyes pierced out, screaming DEATH DRAWS NEAR TO ALL THOSE IWTHIN A TEN MILE RADIUS! Lee shuttered at the lack of youht.

"She-stole my jacket!" he muttered in a hoarse voice.

"P-pardon?" Hinata asked.

"SHE STOLE MY JACKET THAT ------BEEEP CUSS WORDS SOMETHING SOMETHING" he belted out, making Hinata jump. 

"SHe?" Tenten mused. "Sakura?" in disbelief, she concluded.

He nodded sullenly. "Neji discovered that she stole it and told me, but it was too late. She disappears in thin air-"

"Pardon me, unyouthful Uchiha, but didn't you murder your entire clan without a sweat?" Lee blinked. "How is it so hard to find one kunoichi?"

"IM HAVING A BAD DAY SO SHUT IT!" Itachi belted OOC. "First," he moaned, "Deidara reveals our SECRET SECRET HQ, then dogboy heroically steals back our stolen Green tea soup alien-" Megumi hugged Kiba's arm, leaning her head on his shoulder sweetly. "and now, my beloved jacket that I killed countelss people for is gone!" he cried rather unmanly-ish.

"G-gomen, Itachi sama," Hinata tried to console.

"HARUNO SHALL DIE WITH HER BLOOD ON MY PURPLE EMBELLISHED NAILS!!!!!!!!" Itachi swore. 

Blink blink. "Join the club," Kiba smirked.


	4. Yea Happy Endingness and YOUTH

Little did anyone know the real story behind the jacket. You see, it was truly Neji Hyuuga that stole that Akatsuki jacket. He always wanted to be Akatsuki-i-fied. I mean, iwht the purple nail polish and dress jackets, it would be the final step to totally disguising his gender. Well, even though killing off his whole clan was rather tempting (Curse that Hiashi!), it seemed like too much effort, so why not just steal that Itachi's jacket? He wasn't having a good week, anyway, and Deidara had just revealed his new SECRET SECRET lair, so how hard could it be?

That was, until that hideous harno girl came into the picture (doesn't everyone jsut love sakrua?!??!?!) She found him with the newly stolen jacket, and wanted it herself, taking it from his very hands. naturally, he refused, and demanded it back. But she had a will of steel. She threatened to never give it back if he didnt at leats go out on one date with her. Naturally, he ran away like a little kid and told Itachi that it was that Sakura who stole his jacket. He'd have to think on that date thing later.

Now there were 6 nins stalkign Sakura. She was so blonde, and so oblivious to it all. She had to admit, she seriously dug this purple nailpolish craze, and this date with Neji Hyuuga. Miss Sakura Hyuuga, she mused, how lovely and perfect does that sound! I'll be filthy rich, marrying into such a prestigious clan! CACKLE CACKLE CACKLE!

Oh, but Sakura's cackling totally sucked, and totally ruined the mometn, bringing Konohaians to turn their heads and mutter, "Must be an Akatsuki Noob,"

Anyways, back to this story. Here she was, waiting outside of Fujiwara's for her beloved sexy hunk Neji Hyuuga to come sweepo her off for a date. Outside, in an innocent bush, six nin huttled and discussed which was the best plan for our pink haired antagonist's doom.

"We should dice her..." Tenten mused

"We should torture her with nightmares..." ITachi plotted

"We should jump her and steal all her pocket change!" Kiba grinned.

"We shluld give her a big youthful hug!" Lee hugged the air, making everyone blankly stare at him.

"Hinata, what do your Hyuugan eyes see?" Megumi asked her BBBBBBF dramatically.

"I see...S-sakura chan...Just like you do..."

"Oh."

"Wait! TH-there's ...N-neji niii san?"

Eveyrone huttled to the edge of the bush. Indeed, there was the hot Hyuuga. TEars budded to Tenten's eyes, but she tried to hide them. 

"No...freakin...way..."

"It can't be!" Tenten shook her head. "I'm in denial! I'm in denial!" 

"Its ok, tenten chan..." Lee consoled.

"NO ITS NOT!" Tetnetn's femininity released itself in one magical burst.

"I say we just raid the place and improv!" Kiba said impatiently

"Soudn s fine with me," Itachi nodded adn they jumped out of the bush, jumping a startled Neji and Sakura.

"Excuse me, you need a reservation," Reku chan glared at Itachi.

"I'm your boyfriend's boss. You can't talk to me like that."

"Oh yes I can. THis is my turf. GET OUT!"

"DIE!" Itachi's bloodlust burst out as he jumped a startled Rekusshi.

"ITACHI! RESTRAIN HIM!" Kiba and Lee grabbed a rabid Itachi.

"WHAT ARE YOUALL DOING HERE?" Neji belted. Sakura blinked.

"SHE STOLE MY JACKET!"

"SHE STOLE AKAMARU!" 

"...SHE STOLE AKAMARU!" Megumi repeated.

"SHE STOLE (AND BROKE) MY YOUTHFUL HEART!"

"S-SHE STOLE...N-NARUTO'S AFFEC-CTIONS..." BLUSH BLUSH

"SHE STOLE NEJI!!!!!!!!!" Tentne cried, falling to the floor. 

"!?!?!??!' Neji stared blankly down at his teammate. 

Sakura tried to sneak out of the back door, but she was restrained by...A MAGICLALY APPEARING RABID AKAMAUR who bit her arm! "OOOOWWW!!!!"

"Sakura! YOU HAVE EXPLAINING TO DO!" Everyoen shouted in unison.

"Ok," Sakura gave up the masquerade, due to a lack of time and artemis's laziness. "I really wanted chicken wings, so I stole Akamaru. I dont' know why Megumi cares about that. Everyone knows that Akatsuki jackets are the latest fashion and oh so sexy, and I wasn't about to kill the Harunos for one. I don't care crap about Naruto, hinata, go take him. And sorry Lee, but I can't love you," she focused in on his unkempt eyebrows, "No, no way. Ish lufff Neji Hyuuga, so deal with it manly girl." she glared at Tenten.

"Woah, wait..." Neji had to process this, "You thought-I liked you?"

Sakura shrugged.

"You are obnoxious and a crappy nin and I will never love you. Begone," he said heartlessly to an agaust sakura.

"AH! AH!" sakura gasped all Ambercrombe and Fitch-ish-ly.

Tenten sniffled. "Y-you mean..."

Neji blushed. "I dindn' tsay I loved you,"

Tentens head drooped. "THATS NO WAY TO TALK TO THE FLOWER OF OUR TEAM!" Lee belted out.

Oh and did I mention that Naruto just happened to be here as well? "Oh, Hina cahn!" he grinned.

The indigo haired girl blushed. "N-naruto?" ANd you can guess where that was goign.

"Th-thank you, Kiba," Megumi blushed, looking up into his sharp eyes.

He grinned. "No problem, Raspberry chan," he kissed the back of her head.

Lee got over Sakura the jerk-ish ninja, who ran off to find the lost Sasuke, who reluctantly grew to like her. Or at least to tolerate her. They got married and had kids and yea. Lee was single for the rest of time (at least according to this fic.) emo tear

And to tie it all up, Neji admitted his burnign love for Tenten, and Tenetne ended up no longer having no last name------Tenten Hyuuga...

Oh, and tehre is the whole thing about the Akatsuki's hide out. The greeen tea soup alien magicallly rebuilt it and went back to ...wherever green tea soup aliens go. Megumi missed him a lot. 

Itachi lived as a nomadic hobo, living off of raw woodland creatures for the rest of his unholy days. boohoo.

And that is hte end, so proclaimeth Artemis, who needs to get back to her novel .nods


End file.
